After about 5 minutes of the doctor sawing through my cast and had removed it from my sore and itchy leg, he set me free wishing me well, giving me rehab sessions and hoping I will be back on my feet in no time. I could finally walk again and it felt good. Once Teresa saw me emerge from the room she picked up our stuff and walked beside me to the exit.
"How do you feel?" she smiled. "Free." I smirked. She let out a small laugh as we exited the hospital and there he stood. He had a smug smile across his face and his eyes were glassy and red. I smiled, he had his arms out and I ran and collided with him. He wrapped his arms tight around me. "I missed you." he choked. My legs were wrapped around his waist and I didn’t want him to put me down. "I missed you too." I answered. He pulled away a little but still keeping me in his hold, to see my face. I looked up at him and he kissed my lips softly at first. I missed his sweet soft kisses. He then placed me down on the ground and kept one arm around me. Teresa dawdled behind us.
I dawdled behind the loved up couple, it was starting to make me feel even more eager to jump into Geoff’s arms after a month of not seeing him. I’d have to apologize to Alana and Taylah on how grumpy I had been in the past month without Geoff. Alana decided to hitch a lift with Jay to the Airport and I would follow them there. His flight, I had been told was arriving at 3pm, so now it was 2pm and I had no time to make myself look half decent. He probably wouldn’t look so half decent himself coming in from a flight, but he always looks good.
I sat waiting anxiously beside Jay and Alana, Beau and Taylah had gone to get some coffees so here I sat alone. Jay and Alana were talking to each other catching up on what had happened in the past month. When Beau and Taylah got back with the coffee’s it was only half an hour until his flight would land. Taylah sat beside me handing me my coffee.
"Here it may help you calm down." she smiles sweetly. I turn to look at her taking the coffee.
She had a wide smile on her face and I just wanted to feel as happy as she was feeling but I couldn’t. What if all this time he had gone away on tour he had lost his feelings for me and found another girl while at one of the concerts. What if now he just didnt want to see me and he would walk straight pass me, and greet the others. I feared he didnt love me anymore and that he changed. Yet I knew I was overexagerrating and I had to relax, yet I could never get the jist of relaxing or staying calm. It was out my nature. I looked down at my phone once more and looked at the time, my eyes widened. 3:00 pm. I couldn’t stop staring at my screen. This was it, all these thoughts were going to either come true or not. Taylah nudged me lightly. I felt someones presence before me and I looked up. Geoff standing there with a sweet smile broad accross his face. I jumped up and into his arms. He held me tight like he never wanted to let go. I closed my eyes and finaly relaxed. Whatever I was thinking was gone and I was ashamed of myself for thinking any of it.
"I missed you" I heard him choke.
"I missed you too" I murmured into his ear, as I snuggled down into his chest. He pulled back a bit and lifted my chin up. I looked at him and leaned in as his lips lightly touched mine. I kissed him back harder and he slipped a bit of tongue.
I couldn’t complain I hadn’t seen him in a month.
“Jay, I’ll be fine, you’re going to miss your flight” Alana says from the couch as Jay puts another pillow under her foot.
“Okay, okay, okay. Is there anything else you need before I leave?” he says and kneels next to her to brush a piece of hair out of her face.
“Jay, it’s just a broken ankle, I’m not dying. Go. Have fun. I’ll see you in two weeks” she smiles and leans forward to kiss him softly. He smiles; satisfied that she’ll be okay and turn back around to look at us.
“You girls better look after her. If anything happens, don’t listen to her” he says and looks back down at her “she’s stubborn as hell” he says.
I laugh, “oh we know. But don’t worry, we’ll take care of her” I smile at him.
“thank you” he says looking back up at us “I’ll see you all when we play here” he smiles and quickly kisses her head again then heads for the door.
Once the door closes she rolls her eyes and sits up on the couch “stubborn my ass” she mumbles and looks at us “help me up. I’m not laying on this couch for two weeks” she says and holds her hands out for us. Teresa smiles and steps forward to help her up.
“Maybe you should rest, with a broken ankle you don’t want to risk any more damage!” I said, she looked up at me leaning onto Teresa for the support. “You’re starting to sound like Jay.” She smirked, I passed her, her crutches rolling my eyes at the thought. She grabbed them and slowly regained balance. She made her way to the kitchen, we keep offering to make her food or drinks, but she won’t allow us. She can be so stubborn at times it drives me up the wall, especially now that she has a broken ankle.
Teresa was getting all grumpy, that Geoff had left. I don’t know how Alana felt about Jay going though, she seemed ok about it but their basically glued to each other. Their like two peas in a pod, in a sexual manner. Luckily Beau had stayed back , he wanted to stay just in case something happened to me while I was gone. He didn’t want to take any risks of anything happening to me, he has been staying over a lot lately and its making me feel safe. Thankfully.
“You are not making any food, or drinks for yourself Alana we have told you that!” Teresa begun as she followed.
"I don’t know what you’re all so worked up about, it’s just a broken ankle!" she said reach to the top shelf. I rushed over and got a cup down for her but hold it just out of her reach
"we’re all worked up because the doctor told you to rest. You have two screws in your foot! Go sit down" I say. She glares at me, defeated and turned on her crutches to head back to the lounge room. I smirk at her happily and followed her back out. Just as she sat back down beau walked into the room.
"good, you’re resting. Jay was in a panic when I dropped him off" Beau says to Alana as he gets closer to me. He quickly kisses my cheek and looks me in the eyes "How are you feeling?" he asks.
“Fine.” I answer then he pulls me closer and I dig my head into his chest.
It had been a week since the boys had left on tour, Teresa looked as if she was going to rip every strand out of her head and Alana hasn’t moved from the couch. Which I should suggest is a good thing but they’re both acting different and they’re scaring me. I was clearing the kitchen from this morning. I feel as if I’m they’re parent figure while the boys are gone, its like they have gone loopy. They seem to be fighting about everything.
“What is wrong with you can’t you understand you need rest?!” Teresa yelled. “For gods sake Teresa! It’s been 2 week’s, I think I’m fine to fucking walk now!” Alana yelled. I heard something smash and a door open.
“What’s going on?” I heard Beau’s voice. No one said anything. I walked through, and saw Teresa on the floor picking up pieces of smashed glasses with Beau helping her and Alana leaning against the chair with her crutches. She picked herself up and started limping to the kitchen.
“Alana stop.” I managed to say. She stopped and turned around. “Don’t be like that, I’m not a child.” she chokes like she was about to cry. Her eyes went glassy and red. A tear streamed down her face until she wiped the tear away from the bottom of her chin. I turned to look at Beau and Teresa who were picking up the last bits of glass.
Alana continued limping to the kitchen, opening cupboards. Then something smashed.
“Fucking hell!” I heard her yell. I rushed in, not far behind me was Teresa and Beau with the last bits of glass and tossing them in the bin. She was trying to bend down to pick up the glass ,yet every time she did I saw pain in her face.
“Go to bed Alana..” Teresa said, she looked up then stopped trying to pick everything up and fell to the ground in tears. “What if I never get better? What if I can never run again?” she cried. Teresa swarmed to the floor and hugged her. I felt Beau’s hands entwine with mine, and I squeezed them then he pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead, then lightly kissed my lips. I snuggled my head back into his shoulder and let a few tears run down my cheek his shirt soaking them up.
It had been a month since Taylah collapsed. Everything seemed to be getting back to normal. Well as normal as things can get with us. Taylah had been sleeping better now that she’d been taking her medication. Teresa and Zoe had gotten over there little fight, even though Teresa still didn’t like the idea of them being together. Geoff and Teresa had finally gone on there first official date, which she couldn’t have been more happy about. And Jay and I, well we were happy as ever.
The boys were all getting ready for their big tour. Us girls were all huddled together on the couch watching them and smiling proudly. To think a few months ago we were the ones waiting outside the doors for hours just to get a glimpse of them.
I watch Jay belt out ever note, or not so in some cases. They start playing White Lighter and he looks me straight in the eye knowing its my favorite song. I smile and look away, trying not to let him see I’m blushing. He starts walking towards me and the girls nudge me off the couch giggling like schoolgirls. I stand up and he takes my hand and sings straight to me. Never in a million years did I imagine that this would actually happen to me. This man in front of me really is perfect.
They finish the song and Jay kisses me, making me blush even more then runs back to his stand.
Practice finishes and we drive back to our house. Jay had been spending most nights here with me for the past month that it really was like he lived here. Which, of course, I wasn’t complaining about. Everyone else went out for drinks but we decided to go home cause I had a running meet in the morning. Jay hadn’t seen me running yet, not seriously anyway. And to be honest, I was even more nervous knowing he was going to be there. I’d seen him doing his thing more times then I can remember, but never had he seen me in my zone. I don’t even let the girl’s come and watch me run cause I’m too scared I’ll screw it up.
I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling when he rolls over and wraps his delicate arms around my waist.
“you’re going to be great tomorrow. Stop freaking out” he whispers into my ear. He really can read my like an open book. He always knows when something’s bothering me, and he always knows how to snap me out of it. With a sigh I roll over in his arms and rest my head on his chest.
“I know, I know” I whisper and I can tell he’s smiling knowing those words taste like acid in my mouth. He kisses my head softly and we both fall asleep like that.
The next morning wasn’t so calm though. I have to walk up extra early to get ready and have breakfast before we leave. We when get to the venue I sign in and say bye to him, knowing the next time I’ll see him is at the finish line this afternoon. After an hour of warm ups and rub down my race is called and we’re all escorted to the start line. 3000m, no big deal really for me. I take my position on the line and look up to see jay smiling down at me. The gun rings in my ears, and to be honest that’s the last thing I remember. My legs start moving with no direction in mind but forward. Everything else around me is a blur, and not because I was going so fast, but because just as I was about to finish my first lap I lost my footing and fell. The pain in my ankle was excruciating. My head feel back on the ground as a crowd of people gathered around me to get me off the track. This race was over for me.
I was laying on a paramedic’s stretcher when Jay finally pushed his way through to me. The instant I saw him I started crying again, and I never cried in front of him. He took my hand and knelt down next to the bed.
“Everything’s going to be okay” he said with his smile that makes my heart melt “I’ll stay with you all the way”
She lies on the floor, conscious. Alana was already by her side when I collapsed to the floor in tears. I grabbed her hand and held it tight, i kept telling myself to keep it together. I didn’t want to cry in front of her. I found Jay beside me, helping me up but i didn’t want to leave her side. Her eye lids battled open, and I scooped her up and carried her inside. I heard a light thud as I brang her inside but I ignored it knowing the others would pick it up. I placed her down on the bed. I turned around Teresa was behind me. Tears flooding her eyes, she held a piece of paper in her hand.
“Its much worse than you think.” She said. She held up the piece of paper up in her hand, towards me. I looked at it then at her. I took the piece of paper that was in Teresa’s hand. I turned back to Taylah, she was awake now on the bed with her head in her hands. I unfolded the piece of paper. What the doctor had prescribed to her shocked me, I could now understand why Teresa was upset with what she had found. Why she didn’t want to tell me anything, why she had gotten upset.
“What are you reading?” she spoke, her voice filled with concern and worry. I turned to look at her, tears were streaming down her face. I looked down at the paper.
“I never knew,” I begun. “Depression tablets and sleeping pills?” I asked. The word depression lingered in my mind for a while. I hated that word as much as I hated Jay’s snoring. The disorder that rips the world apart, that tears that person down to a million shreds. To know that the woman I love has possibly been diagnosed with this ripped my heart out of my chest. I never knew the extent of what she was feeling and I just wish she had told me in the first place, and I wouldn’t of found out this way.
“Traumatic Stress Disorder” she answered, I looked at her confused. What even was that? It scared me that she had stepped into some world that none of us would know about. None of us would ever know how she’s feeling.
“Why do you need depression tablets? I can understand sleeping pills. I don’t know much about this.” Teresa then said. I looked at her then at Taylah, she looked up tears were filling her eyes.
“Depression is a symptom.” She choked, my heart sank.
“I need some air” I said, and left her room. Biting my lip holding it together. I quickly brushed past Alana and Jay talking and out the front door. As soon as the air hit me, I lost it. Anger and frustration that was built up inside of me was let out. I ran as fast as I could down the road. Why did this have to happen? The woman I love was losing herself, and I was losing her. She has changed so much, we both hate the fact. If the car accident had never of happened none of this would of happened. Im worried sick about her, even more now that the disorder she has is also a form of depression. I heard my name being called, but I didn’t stop running. The scream become louder, and louder, their footsteps coming closer.
“BEAU!” they screamed and they were right behind me now. I stopped and I turned around. Jay was standing before me and I broke down in my brothers arms. He kept me in a tight hug.
“Everything will get better. Trust me.” He said into my ear. I looked at him his eyes were filled with shock and worry.
“But they’re not, ever since that stupid car accident! Its all my fault Jay. If i had of kept my eyes on the road we wouldn’t be in this situation!” I screeched. His eyebrows raised then frowned in confusion.
“We all love her, and with our support she can get through this. It will be tough at times but she’ll get there..” he answered.
“Jay you don’t understand, this is all my fault.” I said getting louder.
“Its not your fault BEAU! Its no ones fault.” He yelled. I looked at him angrily.
“How would you know you weren’t in the car!” I screeched as I bumped passed him to walk back. This was my fault, Taylah would be ok if I hadn’t of ruined everything for her.
I sat onto my bed and looked around my room, at everything that
belonged to me. Beau sat next to me and the bed creaked under our
weight and he put his arm around me.
Alana sat on the carpet infront of me and looked at me, concern
written across her face.
"Alana told us what’s been happening," Beau said and I looked at my
lap. “Taylah, I’ve had no idea…”
"It’s not your fault," I whispered and Beau looked at me and pushed my
hair behind my ear.
"Taylah, you have to see someone," Alana said quietly, and I looked at
"I-I can’t," I stammered and Beau shook his head.
"You have too," Beau said and I looked at my lap where our hands were
intertwined. “Please Taylah, this isn’t the girl I fell in love with.”
Those words made me realize, this accident has been changing me. And I
didn’t want to be changed. “Okay,” I whispered and Beau squeezed my
hand. “I’ll go.”
Beau pulled me up and I immediatly hugged Alana who had also stood up.
Alana had been the only one who had helped me through this, the one
who comforted me at night and the one who kept my secret.
"Please be careful," She whispered and I hugged her tighter.
"I will," I said and we broke apart and Beau helped me out of the room.
Together, we walked into the kitchen where Jay was trying talk sense
into Teresa about Zoe and Leon while trying to stop Zoe from killing
"Taylah," Zoe said, looking at me and Teresa stood up and engulfed me
in a hug.
"Please don’t forget you’re beau-tiful dear," Teresa said, hugging me
tighter and a smile rose onto my face.
"I won’t," I smiled and Teresa let go and Zoe also gave me a hug.
"Come on," Beau murmured in my ear as he pulled me out the house and
into Jay’s car.
Beau put the keys in the ignition when I was safely in my seat and
started the car up and I jumped, looking around in panic.
"Love, are you okay?" Beau asked, placing a hand on my own and I
calmed down a little.
I shook my head and looked out the window. “I’m anything but.”
"Taylah, love." Beau said and I looked at him, tears in my eyes. "This
is going to get better, it will get better.”
"How do you know Beau?" I cried frustratingly.
"Because I do. Taylah, you have friends that will die for you and will
help you through this. You’re smart, beautiful, amazing, always happy,
kind and everything good in my books,” Beau said and I smiled,
looking out the front window and I shut my eyes in an attempt to relax
But, my heart beat quickened when the memory of the crash flashed in
my mind and I jumped in my seat and Beau stopped the car and looked at
"We have to keep going," he said and I nodded, feeling myself shake
"I keep seeing it, it’s everywhere. I can’t shut my eyes without
seeing it all again,” I whispered and Beau placed his hand on my
cheek. “I just want it all to go away.”
"It will go away," Beau said, rubbing my cheek with his thumb and I
clutched his hand, not wanting to ever let go.
"Beau…" I whispered as he pulled the car up in the driveway of the
"I’m here for you," He smiled, kissing me on my lips softly before
opening his car door and rushing to help me out of the car.
When we entered the waiting room, it was quiet with a few patients
sitting in their seats, reading magazines or watching TV.
With Beau’s arm wrapped around my waist, we approached the desk and
Beau leant onto the desk.
"We’d like to see a doctor please," Beau asked and the receptionist
looked up from her computer, looking annoyed.
"Name?" She snapped and I sighed.
I told her my name and she typed it on her computer.
"Please, take a seat," The woman said and Beau helped me to a seat and
he sat down next to me and grabbed my hand.
"Somebody’s in a bad mood," Beau muttered under his breath and I
managed a weak smile, resting my head on his shoulder.
For the whole time we waited there, I didn’t dare fall asleep. No
matter how tired I was or Beau’s continous pleas didn’t make me want
to sleep; I was too scared that I would dream of the accident and Beau
"Taylah Boonstra?" A deep voice asked and I looked over to see an older
Doctor, smiling warmly at me.
"Yes?" I said quietly and he looked at me through his glasses.
"I’m ready to see you now," he said, bowing his head and Beau helped
me up and with his arm around my waist, we followed the Doctor into a
"And, who is this fine gentlemen?" The doctor said, closing the door
behind us as I sat down on the seat next to his desk.
"I’m her boyfriend, but you can call me Beau Taplin," Beau said flatly
and I pushed my hair out of my eyes.
"I see," the doctor said, nodding and sitting on the chair behind his
desk. “Now, what seems to be the problem Miss Boonstra?”
I sighed. It was either now or never; if I kept bottling this up,
ignoring all the help I could have, nothing will ever go back to what
"You see, a few weeks ago, Beau and I were in a car accident…" I began
to explain everything, starting from the car accident, telling the
doctor everything I remembered, to today where I collapsed. At one
point, Beau held my hand but I pulled away, not wanting him to give me
assurance that everything will be fine anymore.
"Taylah, have you been eating or have you got any sleep at
all?” The doctor asked and I shook my head, closing my eyes for a
moment as the accident played in my mind, my voice screaming Beau’s
name in my thoughts.
"Have you been feeling like yourself? Or have you been feeling like a
different person? Ignoring everyone and hiding your problems away?”
The doctor said and I nodded, blinking away the tears.
"Some days, I don’t know what to do. Sometimes, I wonder is it all
worth it? I don’t know who I am anymore,” I whispered and the doctor
sighed, his face grave.
"And, does it feel like it’s ever happening again?" He finally said
and I nodded.
"Always," I said quietly and Beau shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
The doctor sighed, his eyes looking at my frail figure, my pale skin
and the purple bags under my eyes.
"Mr Taplin? Is it okay if you can wait outside for a moment? I need to
talk to Taylah alone,” The doctor said and Beau looked like he
was about to argue but he sighed and got up, kissing me on the
forehead gently as he went.
"Taylah, I didn’t want to tell you this with your boyfriend
here but, I’m sorry to say but you have Traumatic Stress Disorder,”
the doctor said gravely and my heart dropped.
"N-No, I c-can’t," I stammered, shaking my head as tears fell down my
"I’m sorry Miss Boonstra, but you have all the symptoms of Traumatic
Stress Disorder,” The doctor sighed and I could feel my heartbeat
rising as I wiped my tears with the back of my hand.
I looked into the Doctor’s eyes and saw he was telling the truth and
then turned my gaze to the door where I could see Beau was pacing up
and down, looking into the little window every so often.
When he caught my eye, he gave me a smile and I gave him a fake one. I
loved him so much, it hurt me to see him worried about me. It did with
all my friends.
"What can I do to get it treated?" I whispered, turning back to the
"You’ll need to take some medication and I recommend you see a
pyschologist, to try and get over this,” The doctor stated and I
nodded, looking at my lap. “You’ll need to learn how to manage your
anxiety, anger and depression and have exposure and cognitive therapy.”
"Now, do you wish to tell your friends and family, especially your
boyfriend?” the doctor asked and I hesitated, should I tell them?
I shook my head. “I’ll tell them in due time.”
"Keep in mind Taylah, it’ll help you a lot if you tell them,"
The doctor warned and I nodded. “I’ll prescribe you some sleeping
medicine and depression tablets.”
I sighed, and the doctor wrote everything down and printed off a
prescription. He signed it and handed it to me, and I stood up slowly.
"Thank you Doctor," I said quietly and he nodded and I left.
Immediatly, Beau engulfed me in a hug when I exited but I shrugged him
off, not wanting to talk to him as we left the doctor’s. It made my
upset by all this symptathy and pity he was giving me.
"Taylah, what’s wrong?" He asked but I ignored him as I got into the
"Nothing, I’m fine," I said, faking a smile but Beau shook his head,
his eyes looking at me under his messy hair.
"You’re not fine Taylah, I can see it in your eyes," Beau murmured,
starting up the car and I jumped again.
"I am fine Beau, will you just drop it?" I said loudly and Beau looked
taken aback as we drove out the driveway.
"No, you’re not," He argued and I glared at him. "Taylah, why won’t
you tell me the truth?”
"I am Beau, won’t you just leave me alone?" I cried, feeling bad I was
lying to him.
"I’m worried about you Taylah, what do you expect?" Beau yelled, his
eyes focused on the road and I looked at him with wide eyes.
"Well, maybe I don’t want to tell you the truth because I hate seeing
you worry about me!” I screamed as Beau pulled up at the house.
"Maybe because I hate seeing you like this!" He yelled, blinking away
tears and I froze; Beau never cried. “You’re not the girl I fell in
love with, I want my Taylah back.”
"You know what Beau, maybe I don’t want her back. Maybe, she’ll never
come back!” I cried - more lies. I wanted nothing more to be back to
my original self.
"That’s not true. You will get better, you will come back," Beau
shouted and I opened my car door.
"You don’t know that Beau and I’m sick of you trying to tell me that,"
I screamed and I heard the front door to the house open.
"Taylah, I love you more than anything. I tell you that because I want
you to come back, and I know everyone else does as well,” Beau yelled
and I felt myself get more angry than before.
Inside my head, a little voice was telling me to calm down, that this
wasn’t really me. It was just the anger from my disorder taking over.
"You really want to know what I have?" I said quietly, anger pulsing
through my voice and Beau nodded.
"I have Traumatic Stress Disorder," I screamed, my throat throbbing
with pain. My gaze fell onto Alana, Teresa, Zoe, Jay and all the boys
standing in the doorway and then my eyes locked with Beau’s.
Suddenly, blackness overwhelmed me as I collapsed to the floor,
hearing Beau yell my name.
We’d just got home when the yelling started. The tension on the way home had been high on the way here but as soon as we step in that door they just cracked.
“how could you do that?!” Teresa yelled, throwing her bag down on the table and turning to Zoe. Geoff had caught Leon and Zoe making out while we were at lunch and told Teresa and you could tell straight away Teresa wasn’t happy.
“Do what? I’m not allowed to be happy!” she yells back. Leon was a really nice guy but he wasn’t a good influence on Zoe. Leons the type of guy that would hook up with a girl for their looks not their personality. Teresa hated that and she didn’t want Zoe getting hurt. None of us did.
The screaming between the pair had gotten louder. I looked over at Taylah who was sitting at the table. She looked exhausted. I know the dreams had been getting worse. Most nights she didn’t sleep, and if she did she’d wake up crying and come crawling into my bed with me. I stood in between the two of them. “will you two stop yelling!” I yell at the both of them. They both looked at me for a second and then went
back to there arguing. At this point, Taylah stood up too. “STOP FIGHTING!” she yelled and all of our eyes snapped to her. She looked me straight in the eyes and collapsed to the floor. I ran over to hold her in my arms on the floor.
“Are you ok?” Teresa said, Zoe shot her a glare.
“Does she look ok to you?” Zoe glared. Teresa looked at us on the floor
“What’s going on?” She asked ignoring what Zoe had just said.
“Nothing she’ll be ok.” I said helping her up off the ground. She wasn’t let go of me. She held on tight like I was her only hope.
“It sure doesn’t look like nothing…” she said quietly. Just then there was a knock on the door.
“just us” I heard Beau call. Just then I snapped into action, like a mother protecting her cubs. Beau and Jay appeared around the corner into the kitchen and his face instantly dropped. Beau rushed over to his arm around her.
“what’s going on?” he asked. I glared at him but still he didn’t get the message. He pushed her hair behind her ear and tried to pull her into his arms. She loosens her grip on me and smiles fakely at Beau.
“nothing” she mumbles. She lets go completely and walks off to her room. She closes the door behind her and everyone looks at me.
“tell us everything now!” beau exclaimed. I walked over to the table and sat down with a sigh. I put my head in my hands. How was I meant to explain this to them? I know I have to tell them the truth, especially Beau, but how?
“she doesn’t want anyone to know…” I say rubbing my face. Jay sat next to me and held me hand. Beau sat across from me
“I… I don’t like seeing her like this. I just want to know how I can help. I love her so much. We just want to know she’s okay” tears began to form in my eyes.
“she’s been having night mares about the accident. She won’t sleep. She hardly eats and I don’t know what to do. She just wants to forget what happened” I said. Everyone looked at me shocked. I hadn’t realized I’d started crying until Jay wiped the tear from my cheek. Beau looked like he was about to cry too. This had all been really hard on him. Teresa and Zoe looked at each other sympathically; they knew that had to put their problems aside for Taylah.
“none of us want to see her go through this” Teresa says. I was fiddling with Jay’s hand and looking down at the table when I could tell the presences in the room changed. I looked up at beau and followed his eyes to the arch of the hallway. Taylah was standing the looking at her feet. She looked up at me.
“I need you” she said quietly. I stand up without taking my eyes off her “and, Beau” she says. He stands up too. We both look at each other then walk over to stand next to her. They started walking down the hall to her room. I stop for a second and turn back to look at Jay guiltily.
“Go. She needs you” he says. With that I turned and walked down the hall to her room. I stood outside the door for a minute to compose myself. I didn’t know what to expect, and that scared me. All I knew for sure was this wasn’t going to be easy, and that my friend needed me now more then ever.
Zoe and Leon had finally come back to reality, wherever they were I knew something was up. Not long after Jay and Alana came down the stairs. Jay had some really confused look on his face and Alana seemed worry. Alana usually never worry’s if she is then something she doesn’t like is going on. Teresa eyed Zoe and Leon off. To be honest, she’s never really liked Leon. Especially when it came to Zoe having a crush on him. She thinks he’s a bad influence on Zoe, I don’t see her problem though. I felt Beau’s arms wrap around my waist, I turned my head to look at him. His lips lightly touched mine. I pulled away and smiled at him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled, before letting me go. Alana, Zoe and Teresa were waiting at the door. I smiled at them, and we left for home. I was driving, as I reversed out the driveway Zoe whom was in the passenger seat put her music on.
“Oh MY GOD TURN IT OFF..” Teresa complained putting her hand to her head. Alana looked at her and laughed at her. Zoe turned it off, and it kept the whole car ride home queit. Untill Teresa broke the silence.
“Zoe?..” she questioned, I looked in the revision mirror. Alana had a horrified look on her face.
“Hmm.” Zoe said as she was dozing off in the passenger seat, “Where were you and Leon?” she asked. Alana flushed pale white, we both knew this situation wasn’t going to turn out for the good.
“Oh uhmm..” Zoe begun, I looked at her and she shrugged. I turned to Teresa.
“Are you still hung over? Or has Geoffs love bug got you again?” I smirked, touching her forehead when we reached the traffic lights. Alana had to giggle to herself.
“Shutup..” she mumbled and sat back in her seat.
“That was a good one..” Alana laughed, I had to laugh at it myself so did Zoe.
“So how is Geoff going?” Zoe smiled turning to face Teresa. Suddenly a smile wiped across her face and she flushed a bright red.
Arriving home and stumbling out of the car still hungover and tired from the night before. We all needed our sleep so bad. It was getting dark already, I hadn’t realized how long we were at the boys apartment for, must of been long. I decided to skip dinner and go to bed.
I woke up screaming. Tears streaming down my face, holding my head wanting that dream to go away. I never wanted to remember it, i never want to see it, I never want to re live it. I was breathing heavily and every moment that I thought it was it flushed back into memory. I heard a door slam open and footsteps. My bedroom door creaked open only slightly and a figure stepped through. They flicked the light on and the culprit was revealed. Alana.
“I heard you scream.” She said, more tears rushed down my cheeks. I looked at her, my eyes filled with horror.
“Whats wrong?” she demanded sitting beside me on the bed. Her eyes following every move I make.
“The car accident.” Was all i could manage out. I scrunched my eyes of the thought. Everyone was so careful not to say anything. Yet I guess it can’t stay bottled up forever. Forgetting all about because someday I will have to remember it.
“What about it?” she choked, I looked at her. “I remember every god damn little detail; things I don’t want to know. Details I don’t want to remember, the ones I wished were wiped away from my memory for good.” I cried.
“What is it that you remember?” she begun. I looked at her I shook my head.
“Please.. i don’t..” I begun then bursted into tears again. I had bottled everything up, all the emotions that filled me were all coming out. It was silent for a few moments her arms around me, just like how my mother used to.
“I know why we crashed..” I begun. She looked at me. “I was fighting with Jane over the phone, and Beau was getting worried.” I cried, more tears falling down my cheek. “He didn’t see the other car coming in the wrong direction towards us and in the last minute he did see the other car he swerved heavily and went off road into the railing..” I cried. She rubbed my back trying to calm me down as best as possible but all I could see in my head was screaming Beau’s name and smashing into the railing. Thats the image that kept replaying over and over in my head. Like it had a meaning. Like it was something that I needed to know. But it was nothing, just a fate full dive into the unknown. It had no meaning whatsoever. She didn’t speak after that. I didn’t want her to, I don’t want to answer any questions, I just want to forget it all.
The next morning, I woke to a painful headache. Such pounding and pain. I groaned a bit as I rolled out of bed, I lost my co-ordination and thumped to the floor.
“Ow..” I muttered to myself. I heard Taylah’s hysterical laugh, I had to giggle at it myself she has a bit of a weird, loud random laugh. That’s what I missed the most while she was gone. My door suddenly swung open, the girl herself was standing there laughing at me. Dressed in blue boxer shorts and a white baggy shirt, I should be laughing at her.
“Ow!! Go away!” I said half laughing, trying to bring myself up. She put her hand out, I grabbed it and she helped me up.
“Why aren’t you hung over?” I said sitting up on the floor holding my head, squinting at the curtains she just opened.
“I had two drinks Alana…” she laughed.
“Mehh Shutup.” I said, she gave me a smug laugh.
‘Not really.. I just didn’t scull drinks every minute.” She laughed. I looked at her, she had a very sneaky grin on her face.
“I was celebrating ok.” I laughed. She laughed a bit then she sighed. I heard the boys laughter coming from another room, yet to realize we were in their apartment. She was looking around the room, it was Jay’s. He had plastered the walls with pictures of every moment he loved. I spotted one, I never realized it was there. I saw my own face on his walls, it was when Taylah’s band had there first eighteen and over’s gig. While were in the crowd, and the lights were dim. Our faces so happy and full of energy. I don’t know who took the photo, but it was a good photo if I must say. I smiled at it.
“Are you just going to sit on the floor all day or are you going to come and have breakfast?” Taylah smirked. I looked at her, I smiled.
“Only if I can get off of this floor..” I smiled, she stretched her hand out and helped me up. When we reached downstairs, Teresa was in the kitchen with Geoff they were talking and smiling, Beau and Jay were having a little argument in the lounge about something, Nax and Dave were laughing about something and Leon and Zoe had disappeared somewhere yet again.
“ So you were the loud crash?” Teresa smirked as she saw me at the end of the stairs.
“Mmmm…” I mumbled, they let out a little laugh as Taylah walked into the kitchen. Jay had his eyes set on me. I smiled at him, he got up and was by my side in only a few seconds.
“Have a good sleep?” he smiled, putting arm around my waist.
“Very.” I smiled. He kissed me on the cheek, I turned to him and kissed him softly.
- - - - -
Everyone was probably now out of the gear they wore that night, or just freshened up. Jay went upstairs to find Leon, to see where he had gotten too.
“Oh My.. sorry.” I heard him say. I was in his bedroom sorting through my bag. He came in. He looked shock and sick like he just saw something he didn’t want to see. I frowned my eyebrows confused with his expression.
‘You ok?” I asked him as I shoved a shirt into my oversized handbag. I then looked back at him as he didn’t reply.
“Whats happened?” I asked, I then saw Zoe walk down the stairs and not long after Leon followed. Something was going on between the two, even though hardly any of us barely remembered what happened last night, I know that they were definitely more than just friends. Raising my eyebrows on the thought, Jay had finaly spoke.
“I think Leon and Zoe are more than friends…” he begun. I had to laugh at the fact he was stupid enough to walk into the room Leon had designated for himself for the night and find the pair making out. Yet if Teresa finds out, this situation wont come out in the best. He saw the laughing smile flush from my face.
‘Everything ok?” he asked, I looked at him as my eyes still set on what was happening outside the door then in his room.
“You mustn’t let Teresa know about the two, she thinks Leon is a bad influence on Zoe.” I begun, he smile at me.
“I can keep secrets.” He laughed, then kissing my forehead.
Everyone was quiet in the lounge-room. Whether they were all tired and
aching from last night, I don’t know.
Last night, everyone was drunk. For some reason unknown, we had all
woken up back in the apartment. Jay had remembered bits of last night
but the rest of it was a blur. Something I did remember however, was
Geoff and I… making out.
After last night, I was wondering what Geoff and I were. Neither of us
had talked since then, and I was really getting annoyed that he
wouldn’t talk to me.
Sighing, I slowly stood up from my position on the floor. No one
looked at me and I walked to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of
As I was drinking, Geoff stumbled in. The minute he saw me, he smiled
weakly at me and leant on the bench, his eyes on me.
The question I had been asking myself all morning. It was stuck in my
head, like it was tattooed there. And, I knew I had to ask Geoff.
"Geoff?" I asked quietly and he looked up from his fingers.
"Mm?" He replied, gazing at me curiously.
I gave a deep sigh. “What are we?” I said slowly, and I looked into
his brown eyes.
"What do you mean?" He asked confusedly, furrowing his forehead.
"I mean, what are we Geoff? After everything, what are we?" I said in
a small voice and Geoff looked down quickly, avoiding eye-contact.
"Nothing," he said quickly, and my heart fell. "We’re just friends."
Just friends, after everything. He only thought of me as a mere friend.
"After everything? What about last night at the bar? The day Taylah
was discharged? Friends don’t kiss or make-out for nothing Geoff,” I
said loudly, tears burning at the back of my eyes.
"Last night, we were drunk. Teresa, neither of us were thinking
straight. We did things we both regret. And I don’t know about that
day, it was just the spur of the moment,” Geoff said anxiously,
shrugging and still not looking at me.
I felt like my heart was shattered, into a million pieces. My body
felt emotionless, I couldn’t move.
Something deep down, told me Geoff wasn’t telling me the truth, that
he was lying. But, my mind had a whole different thought.
"You’re unbelieveable," I cried and then, I broke down. Tears slid
down my cheeks and Geoff looked up, his eyes widening when he saw me.
I ignored him and ran past him, pushing him out of the way. Tears
blurred my vision and I sprinted out of the kitchen and past the
living-room, out the front door.
"Teresa!" Geoff yelled and the door slammed shut behind me.
Outside, rain was falling and I was immediatly drenched. I wasn’t
exactly sure why I had come out here but I ignored everything and
cried until I heard the front door open.
"Teresa," Geoff called desperately, and I turned around to look at him.
His hair was soaking wet and his fringe fell on his face. His clothes
were drenched and I knew I looked no better.
"You said we regretted last night," I yelled over the pounding of the
rain and his eyes locked with mine. “But, I didn’t Geoff, because I
like you, more than anything.”
Those words, I had finally said them to Geoff and it felt right.
Geoff’s brown eyes widened and he stepped forward.
"Just go," I told him, wiping away the last of my tears.
Geoff smiled cheekily and shook his head, his wet hair flying
My eyes widened as he stepped closer. Geoff took my face into his
hands and my brain hadn’t even registered what was happening.
His lips grazed against mine and suddenly, it felt like time had
stopped around us. My mind was wiped clear and my only thought was
Geoff. It was only Geoff and I.
Geoff’s lips fitted so perfectly with mine, like a jigsaw puzzle. His
hands wrapped around my waist and my fingers tangled in his soaked hair.
We broke away for air after a few minutes. Our eyes stared into each
others and I smiled.
"Geoff, why did you lie before?" I asked and he looked down.
"Because I didn’t know if you loved me," he said sadly, his face
falling and he looked like a lost puppy to me.
"How could I not?" I smiled and he smiled back.
"You know, I’ve always wanted to kiss someone in the rain," I sighed,
looking up at the grey sky and Geoff grinned.
"Did that someone just happen to be me?" he asked in a cocky tone and
I looked back down at him and pressed my forehead to his.
"Of course," I whispered and connected my lips with his once more.
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